Hello all!

This year, Blogger seemed to be very cantankerous when it came to adding photos ... so I gave up. As a workaround I have posted a "snapshot" of each page of the newsletter as it is supposed to look. As a back up, I have also included a text-only version of the newsletter at the bottom. So now you have a choice. Simply click on each image below to enlarge it and read it as it was meant to be viewed and read, or scroll down to where the text begins and read it all in one shot. Just remember, every time you click on an image, you need to click the BACK button when you are finished to get back to Blogger so you can select the next one. Sorry for the hassle! Ok, here we go ...





















Johnson-Rouleau Christmas Newsletter 2009

As I pushed the throttle to zero and listened to the blatting of the snow blower engine slowly wind down like the curtain on a stage, I realized that the time had come once again to put finger to keyboard in an effort to distil the salient events of the past year into a literary caffé latte of sorts. Or perhaps ‘espresso’ would be a more appropriate description of this compressed compendium of current events. Regardless, as chief barista of the annual newsletter, it was important to heed this wild winter weather warning. Waiting further risked wiping out my window of opportunity for writing. Ok, as you can see, I was going for some serious alliteration there but I think I may have pushed too hard. Does the word ‘writing’ count as a ‘w’ word given that the ‘w’ is silent?. Well, it does if you read it like Elmer Fudd! Problem solved. Ok, now, where was I … oh yes, live from Aylmer, Quebec …. it’s 2009!


Mexico
This year started off rather decadently for Chantal and I, if I may use that adverb. You see, we were lucky enough to partake in our company’s annual President’s Club boondoggle trip. The destination was Cabo San Lucas at the tip of the California Baja peninsula in sun-drenched Mexico. And you should have seen the resort where we stayed. Hopefully the pictures capture some of the absolute extravagance of this very exclusive property where the unobstructed ocean view of the Pacific was the least of the fabulous perks. To give you some idea, our room had a huge walk-out balcony that actually included a full-sized hot tub! Flippin’ sweet. (that was for all you Napoleon Dynamite fans out there) Since this was an “all expenses paid” affair, we savoured more succulent seafood than you can shake a shrimp at. We also enjoyed luxuries like a full-body massage on the beach, whale watching on a sunset cruise, and January evenings sipping champagne under the stars. This might all sound quite fabulous but in reality, after a couple of days, we started to feel a little guilty … however, a couple more drinks at the swim up bar in the infinity pool helped us get over it! As incredible as this trip was, I am still trying to determine if these few days in paradise was really worth it since any holiday we take from here on will feel like we are poverty stricken. But you these are the problems I think we all dream about having ourselves.



March Break
For the kids’ March break this year I thought it might be fun to introduce them to an activity that they had never done before. Ideally it would be a stereotypically Canadian winter pastime that none of us have had the pleasure of trying. Do you want to guess? No, not snowmobiling ... No, not ice fishing ... NOOO, not clubbing baby seals! Ok, look, I’ll just tell you. I’m talking about dog sledding! We found a place not far from Ottawa and spent an afternoon being dragged around by a pack of dogs. Ok, that didn’t come out right, but I think you know what I’m talking about. Although we had a good time, it was not as much fun as I was hoping it be. On the positive side, at least we can all check dog sledding off the family “bucket list”. Could this outing be the first casualty of our uber-extravagant Cabo trip?

For the last couple of days of the March break we decided to do a little skiing at Mont Tremblant. We booked a hotel room right at the base of the mountain (thank you Marriott points!) so things were looking good. The weather did not exactly cooperate. Fortunately, it was not that cold. Unfortunately there was some rain and I almost got kicked off the mountain for skiing with an umbrella. Then, when the temperature dipped below freezing at night, calling the conditions icy was an understatement. Let me be perfectly clear here, the only icy conditions I want to be dealing with when I am skiing is in my drink at the end of the day. Roger-Pierre and Lison, Chantal’s cousin, were also there for some skiing with their family. It was a great opportunity to catch up since we rarely get to see them anymore. They say that enduring a traumatic experience with someone brings you much closer together. Well, after a day of “splashing” down the slopes and then shivering our way back up again on the chair lift in soggy ski clothes as we debated whether or not ice could form inside your jacket, I think Roger-Pierre and I became closer than ever.


One-on-One Weekend
Every year Chantal and I each spend a weekend with just one of our kids. This year Morgan and I took off to Toronto to catch a Blue Jays game and generally hang out together while Chantal and Andre-Paul had our place to themselves for their bonding weekend. For the baseball game, Morgan and I enjoyed picture (pitcher?) perfect warm, sunny weather. Our usual strategy of buying the cheapest tickets we can find, arriving early for batting practice, and then scamming some great seats at field level for the first inning or two worked to perfection. Of course, once the rightful ticket holders of the seats show up, we get the boot and have to retreat back to our proper seats. I look at it this way. The seats weren’t being used while we were there anyway, and, after all, we did pay to see the game, right? And besides, it’s not good for the Jays to see empty seats at field level, eh? This time, however, we hit the jackpot and managed to choose seats that nobody ended up claiming. So we got to watch the entire game from about 15 rows behind home plate! While we were waiting for the game to start, I told Morgan about the time I was at the same stadium back in the early 90’s and saw Jose Canseco hit a home run into the top deck. I stressed what a rare occurrence that was and how lucky I was to see it live. Then, wouldn’t you know it, in the second inning Jayson Werth of the Phillies comes to the plate and cranks a homer into, yes, you guessed it, the top deck. You know, I have a feeling that took just a little bit of the specialness out of my story. That Werth guy really knows how to ruin a father-son moment. The good news about this game was that we got to see a lot of home runs. The bad news was that Toronto did not hit any of them. The Phillies ended up hammering the Jays 10-0. However, we did make up for it by swinging by the Adidas store on the day they had their 50% off everything sale. Another way to look at this is that, no matter what you buy, you save as much as you spend. It was basically the retail version of crack cocaine. Thank god we made it out before my “savings” broke the $500 threshold! It was definitely a fun weekend and we are looking forward to the next one.


International Visitors
This Canada Day was out of the ordinary because we had some very special visitors. First, a little background. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (I’m talking 1986) I did the backpacking thing through Europe with a university friend of mine named Joe. While we were in Europe we headed to Hungary to visit some of Joe’s family. I met Joe’s cousin Attila, and his girlfriend, Agi, who spent a few days showing us around and we had a great time in spite of the fact Agi was the only one who could speak both English and Hungarian. Well, fast-forward 23 years and we find that Attila and Agi are married and now have three children. This summer they travelled to Canada to visit Joe. And for Canada Day we had a reunion of sorts here in Ottawa, for the first time since those carefree days on the streets of Budapest. We caught the fireworks up close and personal (here is a video of some of the action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uEv1OBXzPs)
and then we capped off the evening in our backyard with a few drinks in the hot tub sharing stories and memories of our time in Hungary that seemed like another lifetime ago.

Less than a month later we got a chance to see our friends Robin and Katerina all the way from Berlin, Germany. You may remember that they came by for a visit at our place last year when they were here in Canada visiting family. This year we went to Nina’s cottage (Robin’s sister) for a visit with everyone. We also got to meet Nina’s partner, Catherine, for the first time. I’ll admit that caught me by surprise because I had never met … an opera singer before! However, Catherine is not the only one with musical talent, Robin is a professional jazz musician (plays the base), Nina is a pianist and works for the Canadian Opera Company, and Katerina is a wonderful jazz singer, although she is too modest to say so. It was a weekend of music that started with an afternoon at a nearby outdoor jazz event followed by an evening gathered around the campfire where the kids playing guitar for us. Add a little swimming, canoeing, and BBQ-ing made and you have a great cottage weekend. Thanks guys!


Jolly old London
This year I decided to use some of the airline points I have accumulated recently to take the family with me to London on one of my business trips. And since those dirtbags get the entire summer off it wasn’t that difficult to fit it into their schedule. Although we were only in the UK for a week, we crammed in as much as we could. In a nutshell there was Windsor Castle, Harrods, Buckingham Palace, Carnaby Street, the Eiffel tour, Big Ben, Hamley’s Toy Store, the London Eye, the Parthenon, Thames cruise, a musical production, and even a few out of town highlights including Bath and Stonehenge. I’ll admit, I added a couple of items to that list that don’t really belong but that was just to see if you are really paying attention at this point. The best part of England overall? … the pubs, of course. We also managed to arrange a couple of visits with friends in London as well. John and Andrew had us over to their place for a wonderful dinner and we also attended a garden party at Graham’s place. This gave us a chance to finally, and officially, confirm that Graham’s girlfriend, Jo, does indeed exist after all! And to top the trip off, I even managed to squeeze in a squash game with Graham. Of course, as I am sure you can understand, as a gracious guest, I had no choice but to let Graham win. That is my story and I am sticking by it.


Sand dunes, Sailing and Summer Nuptials
Not long after returning from London, we packed up the tent trailer and headed to Sandbanks campground where they have sand dunes and lovely, long beaches that stretch their way seemingly endlessly along lake Ontairo. There we met up with our friends Jean and Lucie from Quebec City, who were renting a place very close by. It was a week full of sun, sand and sunsets by the shore. One thing that has to been seen to be believed is Jean and I talking to each other. He talks to me in English, so he can practice, and I talk to him in French, so I can practice. Most of the time I have no idea what I have actually said in French but Jean is very polite and acts like he understands, which is why we get along so well I am sure.

And again this summer I was lucky enough to be invited out on my buddy Pat’s sailboat. Once again it was a stellar sunny day we spent cruising in and around the 1,000 islands. This time my brother, Eric, joined us. It was Eric’s first time sailing and he settled in very nicely behind the wheel. We stopped for lunch and decided to just drifted along while we broke some bread and quenched our thirsts. We also took a dip in the St. Lawrence to cool off a little and soon thereafter realized why you probably shouldn’t jump off a boat that is not anchored … unless you can swim fast enough to catch up to it as it drifts away! Just another example of how my life can serve as a cautionary tale for others. All in all, it was another day in paradise on the water, courtesy of Pat.

Congratulations Stephen and Stephanie! As summer came to a close (at least in the northern hemisphere) we headed down toward Toronto to attend the wedding of my … well, let’s call him my cousin, Stephen, and his lovely bride, Stephanie. In reality, Stephen is my mother’s, mother’s, sister’s, daughter’s, daughter’s son. Now that I think about it, in Arkansas there is a good chance this type of relative actually could be your cousin. But I digress. The wedding was held at a fabulous hotel overlooking the skyline of downtown Toronto and the weather was fantastic. Pristine blue skies, a light, warm breeze, and even a full moon rising later in the evening. How do you manage to arrange things like that? It was a fun yet classy affair and all I can say is, very well done newlyweds!


Family Update
This year held few surprises when it came to the kids. They are both doing very well at school, they both played soccer this summer, Morgan, now 13, continues to play hockey in the winter (check out this clip to see Morgan in action during a recent hockey game http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw4j9_h_0dM) but has also added basketball to his curriculum, and Andre-Paul, now 15, plays goalkeeper for an indoor soccer team in the winter (check out this clip to see A-P at work during a recent indoor soccer game http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baM-hCKyTE0). School has been pretty heavy, especially for Andre-Paul who has turned to the bottle for relief and has developed a serious drinking problem. Actually he is suffering from lack of sleep as he and many others in his class are up past midnight semi-regularly trying to complete their school work. He is finishing up his final year of secondary school (what I would call grade 11) before starting to CEGEP. Morgan has a less severe workload which gives him more time to hone his skills at his favourite higher education institution, best known by the acronym XBOX.

For those of you who are still reading at this point, you may remember that I mentioned squash earlier. I am still playing squash regularly and I entered an invitational tournament at my squash club last month. To be honest, the main reason I signed up was just so I could play a few games that week since all the courts were booked for the tournament. At my age, I consider it a success if I simply come out at the end of it all with no physical damage. Amazingly, I actually won the ‘C’ division championship! Unfortunately I had to head immediately to the emergency room because it was quite obvious that I had to get the horseshoe removed from my derriere. I now have to play in the ‘B’ division from here on in so I am mentally preparing to get my butt kicked around the court on a regular basis for the foreseeable future.

Here at home, we finally got one very long overdue project completed this year. When my mother passed away I offered to collect and store all her books with the intent that I would build a bookshelf at our place and keep her entire library together in one place. Well, three years later the dream has finally become a reality. Now, keep in mind that when I say I am going to build a bookshelf, that really means I am going to have someone build a bookshelf for me. However, in an ill-conceived effort to save some money, Chantal and I decided that we would stain the wood ourselves. I mean, how hard could that be anyway? Well, please let the record show that it doesn’t matter what you are being charged to get a piece of furniture stained, pay it! Yes, this is another example of me acting as a cautionary tale for others. However, in a testament to Chantal’s rather impressive abilities, and hard work, the bookshelf actually turned out incredibly well and we love it. I say Chantal’s abilities because, although I did assist, my help making the bookshelf staining look nice, would be likened to the way Ringo helped the Beatles become famous. Sure, he was likable enough, and what he did do was fine, but could it have all happened without him? I think you get the picture.

And speaking of work, I am still with the same company, ZixCorp, seven years hence. This extends my personal best record of the longest I have ever worked anywhere, not counting that grow-op in the 90’s. I am still very happy at Zix and I look forward to breaking more attendance records. The travel component remains significant but has slowed somewhat this year. Hey, I’m down to only 7 trips to London in 2009. Seriously!

Chantal is still teaching and this year she has a grade 1-2 split. Although she is at a different school, it is still close enough that our kids can catch a ride with her in the morning to get to their school. So this works out perfectly for our kids as they move into that lazy, path-of-least-resistance mode known as being a teenager. However, A-P is turning 16 next year, and with his driver’s license on the horizon, things could get very different around here. I remember when I got my driver’s license … help! Does that set things up nicely for next year’s newsletter?

Kid Kwotes
And now for the part you have all been waiting for …

I was all excited because I had just found out that I was invited to attend our company’s President’s Club trip to Mexico! We were discussing our options over dinner and I asked Chantal if she thought she could get the time off from teaching to attend with me. Before she could answer, Morgan jumped in and offered, “If maman can’t go, you can take me!”


After returning from our Mexico trip (and yes, Chantal was able to join me) I was telling Morgan about the very exclusive resort where we stayed. One of the things I mentioned was that I found out that you could even order fireworks for a special event you were having there but it was quite expensive. I also told him we actually witnessed an event that had some fireworks while we were there that lasted about 20 seconds. Morgan asked how much it cost for those fireworks, and when I told him about $2,000, Morgan was shocked and quickly replied, "That's a real punch in the face!"


A-P and I were talking about. Robert Kubica's incredible car crash at the last Formula One race in Montreal. He crashed at over 300 km/h, his car was demolished and all he got was a sprained ankle. I said it is amazing that safety in Formula One has come so far that the driver can walk away from an accident like that. A-P quickly jumped in and pointed out, "You mean limp away."


Morgan and I headed out for our first ride in the Miata this year and he told me when he was little he used to like going for rides in the Miata because when he sat in the car and looked out, he was taller than he was when he was standing on his own. Well, it’s hard to believe he was ever that short! 


Morgan and I were listening to a commercial on the radio about kidney disease. They mentioned that anyone could get kidney disease and that you should take good care of your kidneys. I thought about that for a moment and then I turned to Morgan and asked, "What are you supposed to do to keep your kidneys in good shape?". Morgan quickly replied, “I don't know ... eat more kidney beans?"


For some reason the family got talking about the movie, Groundhog Day (with Bill Murray) and at one point we started discussing what day would be a good one to redo over and over again like they did in the movie. I had just started to think about this by the time Morgan had already processed the question, weighed the pros and cons, settled on a suitable answer: Christmas day. Sure, that makes sense.


We were watching the movie Talladega Nights , which is a spoof about NASCAR racing. As I am sure you know, all of the cars in NASCAR are plastered with advertising. I asked the kids if they were familiar with the companies that were the sponsors for one of the cars since some of the companies only sell things in the US. The car in question had Wonder as one of the sponsors, which they correctly replied, makes bread. When I asked about Old Spice Morgan did not respond right away. He hesitated and then offered, “Well, some kind of spices I guess.”


A-P and I were talking about possibly doing some slaloms (autocrosses) together next year. A slalom is an activity where you try to drive as fast as you can through a mini race course that has been set up in a large parking lot by using pylons to mark where the track is. It often results in the car doing lots of sliding around … if you go fast enough. I asked A-P if thought he might like to take a turn behind the wheel when we do it. A-P cautiously replied that he didn’t think it would be much fun if you’re just learning how to drive and you find trying to control a car that is sliding around at speed. I replied, “Oh you’d be surprised!” Just then Morgan chimed in with, “Ya, you’d be surprised, Andre-Paul!” A-P gave Morgan a look of concern and said, “You’re just like dad.” I had to agree, and after seeing the big grin on Morgan’s face, I added, “and that scares me.” A-P looked at both of us and said, “Ya, that scares everyone on the road!” Don’t you hate it when your kids get to the point where they can insult two people with a single remark?


Over breakfast one morning I was looking at the calendar on the wall and I noticed that it did not go beyond December, which I found rather irritating as I was wondering about some dates in 2010. I said to everyone at the table that it was a little surprising that the calendar did not include the January of the following year. A-P piped up and said that maybe they figured everyone would have a new calendar for the following year so they didn’t bother with adding January. I retorted that a good quality calendar like the one we have should include at least one extra month to cover things like not getting around to buying a new calendar on time. A-P then slyly responded, “Well, it is more environmentally friendly not to include extra paper that may never get used.” He paused, and then, noting that I had not yet responded, he added, “Now I’m pulling your green strings, eh?”


Recently Morgan was obviously thinking about the fact that lots of people go to church at Christmas. He turned to me and announced, “When everyone is at church, the robbers must be all over the place.” Now, what I heard was, if everyone goes to church at Christmas time, then there must be a lot of robbers at church since robbers are part of the general population too. But what he really meant was, when everyone goes to church, it must be a field day for the robbers since they know you are away at church, and they know you have lots of Christmas presents, so they are probably all over the place breaking into everyone’s house. Sometimes listening to Morgan and I communicate is like listening to Abbott and Costello doing the “Who’s on first” routine. But, at the same time, when I hear Morgan offering up ambiguous sentences like that, it warms my heart because I know he is definitely my son!

After making reference to that old Abbott and Costello routine I couldn’t help but sneak a listen to it on YouTube. If you want to laugh out loud for a couple of minutes, point your browser to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW_qa6swnOM.

So that brings this year’s Christmas newsletter to a close. We hope you enjoyed it. And with any luck, we will get a chance to see each of you sometime in 2010. Here’s the Johnson-Rouleaus wishing all of you a very Happy Christmas and an even happier New Year!